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Lima Gamit

Baguio City.

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It’s raining, so that means it’s time for blogging. That, and iMessage has decided to be a pain in the ass and stop working. I mean, it might be all my technology trying to be nice to everyone back home, since me texting you now means me texting you at seven am, and really, who is up now? Or else, maybe it’s trying to be nice to the interwebs and give you another blog from me.

…which in case you didn’t notice, isn’t even totally necessary because GoldDust exists!

But since the rain and the douchebaggery technology, here are five things I’ve learned since being in the Philippines.

1. The Boo knows more Tagalog than I probably ever will.

The title of this blog is roughly “five things” in Zambale, according to my mom. I asked her to spell it out for me, and Boo just started counting. He can get up to at least twelve. I can say “thank you.”

2. The day is twelve hours. Exactly. Or almost.

Sun rises at 6 am. Sun sets at 6 pm. My sleep schedule is all sorts of weird.

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3. Vacation hair.

Totally forgot to bring shampoo and conditioner. If you remember my post about my awesome packing skills, this isn’t surprising. However, the intense heat plus lack of conditioner plus hair being up in a ponytail/bun/braid all day equals me looking like this:

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4. I’m totally kidding. It just looks like this:

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5. A learning lesson for you:

“Salamat” means thank you. And now you know about as much Tagalog as me.

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Needle in a haystack.

Went shopping at a mall today. At one point, VS and I separated from the parental units.

Fast Forward.

VS: How are we going to find them now?

L.A.: I suppose we could ask the guard at the door if he’s seen a tall white man go through.

*Both of us laugh*

VS: Hey, what’s our cousin doing?

*Both of us turn to see our cousin talking to the guard and mentioning to us. The guard’s face light up and he smiles and nods at us, motioning us into the store.*

L.A.: I can’t believe that just worked.

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I have not observed which way toilets flush yet.

So, I’m writing this blog from my iPhone and my view looks like this:
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But since I haven’t blogged since leaving for the grand adventure, I figure I’d fill you all in on something that applies to all of us:

Airplane bathrooms.

I’m not talking about the mile high club or anything, because ew, I’m on a family vacation but more of one of the:

Adventures of Boo and L.A

Plane ride 1 of 4

Boo decides he has to pee. We walk to the bathroom. He doesn’t like the size of the bathroom.

Two hours later, as we rush to catch our next flight, Boo manages to put most of his pee into the toilet. He only misses when he turns to tell me, “I almost didn’t make it in the pot!”

Plane 2 of 4

Boo observes Mommy peeing in the pot. Decides it’s not scary until we flush.

The noise is scary.

Cue rushing off the plane to a bathroom, part deux.

Plane 3 of 4

Boo finally pees on the plane, because we ate on the plane.

Boo: Where’s the pee go?

Me: Out of the plane!

Boo: In the sky?

Me: Yup.

Boo: …is rain airplane pee??

Plane 4 of 4

Boo’s fear of the unknown has been defeated. He attempts to push all the buttons in the tiny bathroom.

Boo: what’s this do??

Me: Don’t open the door, we need to pee first!

Boo: what’s this do??

Me: Don’t call the stewardess!

Boo: what’s this do?

Me: face turns white as pee is sucked out of me at 30,000 feet.

Happy trails.

Vacation. Also, adventureland is a terrible movie.

I’m leaving for Labor day vacation in t-minus 6 hours. I have plans to just run out of work, stop by the house, throw all the luggage and babies and babydaddies in the car (I don’t actually have plural of either) and drive until I hit Mackinac Island. I hope that the Equinox is actually a submarine.

OF COURSE my car is bigger than the ferry boats.

But you know what’s stopping me? The fact that I have absolutely have nothing packed. I’m a weird female in a lot of senses. I like sports more than most. I take little to no time getting ready. I barely ever wear make up. I spend as much time barefoot or in flip flops and only wear heels when necessary. But there’s one thing that I’m terrible at.

Packing.

Thus, I present to you: a timeline of my packing skillz.

Last night.

9:34 pm: Arrive home. Acknowledge that I should pack before bed so I’ll be ready to leave on time tomorrow. Smell self, and decide that I need a shower after soccer more than I need to start packing.

10:00 pm: Get out of shower. Lounge around waiting for hair to dry.

10:15 pm: Realize that my hair still isn’t dry. Pull out bags to decide which one to pack things in.

10:20 pm: Convince self that I don’t need to go out and buy a new bag for a weekend trip. Glare at old ugly bag.

10:45 pm: Decide that the bag will have to do. Count the number of days I’ll be gone and pack appropriate undergarments.

10:50 pm:Exhausted from picking out underwear. Turn on Netflix to distract myself. Adventureland is suggested.

10:55 pm:Decide I hate Adventureland. Stare into closet and wonder how much I’ll have to pack. Wonder if I can make it through the rest of the weekend just in underwear.

12:00 am: Finally give up on movie. Check bag. Still only have underwear packed. Toss in a hairbrush, deciding I’ll probably forget that in the morning.

12:01 am: Pass out.

8:30 am: Wake up and get ready for work. Realize I still need hairbrush before I can pack it.

8:31 am: Unpack hairbrush.

8:35 am: Brush hair. Decide that I might need a swimsuit. Pack three.

11:30 am: Realize I forgot to repack the hairbrush.

11:33 am: Facebook GoldDust that I haven’t packed. Wonder if she brought enough for me not to pack more.

12:30 pm: Debate making list of things to pack so when I go home on lunch and I can pack easily.

12:31 pm: Watch Jenna Marbles tell me how females pack. Laugh a lot. Decide it’ll be okay because I at least remembered the underwear.

12:33 pm: Watch more Jenna Marbles vlogs because they’re more amusing than the thought of packing.

12:45 pm: Decide I really might need a list. Write PAJAMAS in big letters on my arm.

12:47 pm: Add heels and make up to my arm. Just in case.

Oh, and bring a toothbrush too.

12:50 pm: Write blog.

12:52 pm: Post blog.

*Update*

2:30 pm: Manage to sort of pack things into small duffel pack. May have packed more shorts than underwear. May not be able to zip bag closed all the way.

**Update x 2**

6:57 pm: Load successfully packed small duffel with mostly zipped zipper. Stare at BabyDaddy’s enormous suitcase and declare him to be worse than me.

***Update x 3***

11:56 pm: Totally did forget hairbrush.