I gave up Red Bull three weeks ago.
This might explain why I haven’t been blogging, because I’ve been all…
…without the deliciousness of taurine and caffeine and whatever other -ines I was regularly putting into my system to allow the amount of foot tapping and body shaking that I normally do.
But without Red Bull, I’m suddenly feeling like I have a clearer head. I sleep better. I’m not jittering all over the place, and I no longer have the desire to try and turn cartwheels down the impossibly long hallway of my office.
Wow, I realize. What a wise decision I made to cut something so terrible out of my life. Out, damned energy drink. Out.
This got me thinking. What other terrible, horrible, no good, very bad things have plagued me in my life that I should probably think about giving the boot?
Here, in no particular order, is my list of guilty pleasures that I’m in the process of kicking.
Fuck, I love my coffee. I love it so hard. And with no Red Bull, Starbucks has been poised to make a killing on my wallet and in my heart. But then some asshole posted that my drink of choice, the grande white chocolate mocha-licious, is about 1290343098573 (add comments accordingly) calories of love handles and empty promises.
Seriously. Basic math shows that my coffee habit of $4.29 at least twice a week is almost $500 bucks out of my pocket for the year. And I am poor. I am poor and I am paying to get fat. Granted, it’s so much easier to drive to Starbucks than make a cup of coffee in the morning. But I’m trying. Starbucks, you’ve been downgraded to special occasions and pity parties.
2. Shopping on an empty spirit.
Do you read my blog? Then you know. I’ve been a very, very sad person. I have had some very low moments in my life, and I’ve had a very, very full closet for some of them. Did I ever wear that t-shirt from Forever 21 that had the bicycle on it because it looked like me? How about that sparkly gem headband during that phase of fashion life where everything was bedazzled?
I’ve made some terrible fashion decisions because when I get depressed, I shop. Some part of my brain told me that if I was sad, things would make me happy.
They didn’t. Neither did my empty wallet. But now when I shop, I’m able to look at my armload of stuff and think to myself. Do I need this stuff? Do I want this? Am I feeling sad? And if any of the answers are yes, I set the things down, back slowly away, and call somebody who knows me.
Friends. Good. Impulse shopping. Bad.
I don’t know why I do this. I can’t think about it though, because it defeats the purpose of trying to kick the habit.
4. One Tree Hill > 8 hours of sleep.
I’m such a guilty pleasure TV show-er. I loved One Tree Hill, and Gossip Girl, and Gilmore Girls, and Veronica Mars, and OMFG, Did you know there is a Veronica Mars movie coming out!?
This would all be well and good, but Netflix. And TV on DVD. And other ways to spend hours and hours of your life just watching TV. I work a normal job schedule, then spend the rest of my time with my son, which means that the time I have to watch TV falls during post bedtime for offspring time. Which would be well and good except…
L.A.’s thought process for TV watching
Episode 1: I love this show. I’m going to watch this episode then go to bed because I have to wake up early.
Episode 3: Oh. Em. Effing. Gee. I have to find out what happens.
Episode 9. I can’t NOT finish the season now. I just should finish it. There’s only two episodes left.
Episode 34549837: Fuck. Is that my alarm?!
5. Sticking to things.
…I acknowledge that the following things may not be kicking habits, but simply growing up and making mature decisions. THE HELL, guys. THE HELL.