So Labor Day Weekend marks the transition from summer to fall.
This summer has been a magical time for me. I have been so fortunate to be surrounded by so many amazing people. I wouldn’t trade the late nights that turned into early mornings, the laughter or randomness. But I’m ready for the winds of change. The air reeks of it.
The leaves aren’t the only thing changing colors.
It seems like myself and everyone around me is in transition.
I just moved into a new house. I’m also making plans to change a few other things in my life, not just geography.
My dear friend Hot Chocolate is moving to another state for a his job this week. I’m sad to see him leave, but I’m so proud of him and excited to see what this opportunity will bring him.
He has given me so much this summer. More than I could ever repay him, so I will not burden him with sadness of leaving. I rather celebrate the joy of something new and exciting.
L.A. is also in her own set of changes. Boo started kindergarten. Someone very dear to her moved away. She has other things that are in transition also.
It’s all chaotic. We don’t know what each day will bring. It all seems to be moving so fast. Not a moment to take a deep breath and enjoy it.
Even with all the confusion and chaos, I have a sense of calm.
I’m excited about all the change. It’s progression. I love progression.
I don’t know if there is something in the water or if I have reached euphoria, but I don’t fear change anymore. I crave it.
Good things can’t become great things without change.
I’ve been afraid of changing
‘Cause I, I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I’m getting older too oh yes
I’m getting older too
It is a surreal feeling to know that my mother at my age was already married, had her first child, and owned a home.
…I’m lucky if I make breakfast for myself in the morning.
Times have definitely changed, and people at my age are all over the place when it comes to the stages of their lives.
Fortunately, I can say that I’m not doing too badly for myself at 25. I love my career. I pay my own bills. And I don’t live with my parents.
I’m not as successful as I want to be, but I believe I’m on the right path to kicking life in the butt.
Our world is ever changing so it isn’t easy to start a life and find stability.
This fact has made dating a disaster for me.
I can best describe my dating life with songs from Destiny Child and TLC .
Since people at my age are over the place… compatibility is so hard to find.
Relationships can get stale when the couple isn’t at the same place in life.
I’m not trying to bash anyone, but it’s a stressful thought. I just want to date someone who I don’t have drive around because they don’t have a car. Or I don’t want to date someone who hasn’t finished college because they can’t figure out their degree.
To prove my headache… I recently had a no scrub moment in a bar.
A nice looking male kept smiling at me at the bar. He approached me to have a conversation. Everything was going smoothly until I asked him what he did for a living. He said he had lost his job and wasn’t sure what he wanted to do next.
Like yes, we all fall on hard times and we can’t always control situations that happen to us. I shouldn’t judge, but what am I suppose to do with that?
Was he trying to play the guilt card into my heart?
Was he trying to be honest? Yes, someone shouldn’t be penalized for honesty.
But the entire factor just made everything all more difficult.
The situation wouldn’t have been so discouraging if he would have said,
“Yeah, I lost my job today, but I’m planning to go back to get my Master’s.” OR “I’m planning to open my own business. I would love to share with you my business proposal sometime.”
We might not have it all figured out like our parents did at our age, but we definitely can have a plan.
I’m not just talking goals/dreams in life. I’m talking about having plans to reach those achievements.
Good things don’t come without hard work.
I guess I will be planning out how to make my dating life better and more fulfilling .
Today is my parents’ anniversary. The real one, since they have two, but only one of those dates makes them married for another year. It amazes me sometimes, to think of this.
A few years ago, my father and I were driving to choir, and had the following conversation, which is documented for posterity in my
memoir completely fictional book.
“Hey Dad.” I slid into the car, relishing the warmth of the car.
“That wasn’t Ryan.” He replied as a greeting.
“Nope, that was Jack.” He had met Jack a few weeks ago when Jack and I had hid out at my house.
“Are you with Jack now?”
“No, Ryan and I are still dating.”
“Are you and Jack dating?” He asked.
“Ryan and I are boyfriend-kind of dating, Dad.”
He laughed. “Whichever way that is. I think you should ditch them both and date the cute tenor.”
And then you look at my parents. Marriage. 29 years of marriage, and counting. If you happen to read my good friend Nathan Triple Name over at the Frogly Prince, you’ll notice that we worked together to compare Clue to…sexcapades. We had branched out in our original comment-versation to include other various board games.
So, exactly how does this marriage thing link in to Monopoly?
Once, when I was about 9, my sister, my father, and I decided to play a friendly game of Monopoly. It began after dinner, and somewhere around it’s midnight and past your bedtime, we put the game away. However, before doing so, we wrote down exactly what everyone had: properties, houses, money, even what piece they were ( I was the dog). No one actually won. We never actually finished the game.
And that is kind of like relationships nowadays.
Thus, Nathan Triple Name and I present you: Relationopoly.
The Cheap Streets:
L.A.: One night stands. Booty calls. Friends with benefits. Rebounds. Those people that come into
your lifeyour bed and head out the door. Possibly saved in your phone as “So and so from the bar.” Possibly not saved in your phone at all.
Nathan Triple Name: Good for some cheap thrills but no one in their right mind should be drooling over Baltic. Even if the upkeep is cheap, hotel optional.
Spending Time Together Avenues:
L.A.: You’ve gone on a date or two. To a movie. Grabbed dinner together. Happy hours. He’s met some of your friends, you’ve met some of his. You’re affectionately “just hanging out,” as you tell your friends.
Nathan Triple Name: Not your ideal situation, but at least you are on the board. Tempting to buy that house you always wanted.
L.A.: This is where that forlorned look comes into play. You’re staring around the corner wondering what would happen if the two of you headed there. Of course, there is always the option of getting to Free Parking. Where some relationships go to stay.
L.A.: You call him your boyfriend. You’ve had serious conversations, both about life and about “your life. Together.” Oh, and most importantly, you changed your Facebook status.
Nathan Triple Name: Sometimes comes with it’s share of water works and B.O. , but you have to take the bad with the good sometimes to keep moving forward.
And last but not least…
“Go to Jail”
L.A.: Of course, this rests between these streets. Somewhere between “hanging out” and commitment, is the great question of what, if anything, comes next.
Nathan Triple Name: Where only guys are sticking around trying to roll doubles. “Twins, Basil. Twins.”
The long and winding road home: You’ve moved in together. You’ve caught him looking at engagement rings. You’ve looked at rings together. He’s met your family. He’s proposed. You bought a dog. You had a kid.
Somewhere between my father and mother pen-palling it up and getting married, love and relationships got blurry. Are you dating? Are you together? Are you in limbo? Are you in a relationship? Go directly to jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.
If Boardwalk and Park Place are love and marriage, what happens if you keep going around the board?
Maybe the whole issue is that damn bloggers like Nathan Triple Name and I are comparing life to board games.
In the meantime, my parents have been married for 29 years now. Did they learn to play the game correctly? Or maybe
…they decided to put away the board game, because let’s face it…they won.
I dedicate this post, and all future games of Monopoly, to my parents. Congratulations of 29 years of love and stuff.
Also, a big thank to you to Nate for adding some man talk to my blog this week. Two thumbs up to him — go check out his blog at http://thefroglyprince.wordpress.com.
So I just have to state how amazing my best friend/co-blogger really is. I’m so happy that I have her in my life to keep me sane and to keep our blog alive and well. Bravo, L.A.!!!
I apologize for my absence. Life gets going for me and I get writers block, making it hard to keep in touch.
This morning I received some snail mail from the Secretary of State. The state of Michigan politely reminded me that I’m turning 25 on December 23rd, and my driver’s license will expire. I do wonder if I have to renew since the world is ending on the 22nd. I will have to call customer service and ask. Maybe they have the answer on the ‘Frequently asked Questions’ section of their website.
I have been alive for a quarter of a century. Such a monumental moment. I have reached my quarter life crisis. How should I deal with this dilemma? Buy a sport car? Date a younger man? Get hair plugs?
No, none of these excite me so I decided to list the 25 things I have learned by the age of 25. Drum roll, please….
- A smile can get you a long way.
- If a guy says others think he is an asshole, then he is an asshole.
- Never regret paying for an expensive pair of jeans. No one will ever complain that your butt looks too good when wearing them.
- Pay attention to how a guy treats his mom. He will treat you the same way.
- Love as hard as you can. And never regret it.
- Nothing is ever final in life.
- Always be overdressed.
- Enter every room like you’re in technicolor.
- Find your signature perfume.
- Write down your goals. You will complete them if you do.
- Quit the job you hate. You didn’t want to be there anyways.
- Find a reason to laugh at the bad moments in your life, then you will only have good memories in your mind.
- You can live without the guy you thought you couldn’t. And you will be happier that you did.
- Kill your competition with kindness.
- Don’t date him if doesn’t tell you that you look nice on the first date.
- Asking questions is the most intelligent thing you can do for yourself.
- Always step out of your comfort zone. The mystery is the best part.
- Don’t date him if he doesn’t make you laugh.
- Your best friends are your true soulmates.
- Time is an enemy and a friend. Accept it.
- Start a dance floor wherever you go.
- Laugh at yourself before others can.
- Having a good hair day is like winning the lottery.
- Always apply more mascara.
- Look at the world differently each day.
After writing this list, I think I have found inner peace if the world does supposedly end on the 22nd of the December.
I’m ready to celebrate my life at the age 25. Who wants to join my party? But, I refuse to scream YOLO…