Blog Archives

How much does a polar bear weigh and other pressing questions

It’s a whole new year, ladies and gentlemen. This means resolutions, trying new things, being better people, etc, etc. I ended 2014 in great fashion.

Now, when I say great fashion, I do mean great fashion.

IMG_1783

But the biggest fashion statement I made was not worn most of the evening. This was a hooded furry bear which once upon my person was somehow called: a coat.

Faux fur is very in right now, which means that there is a very specific list of people wearing fur: people that brought about the faux fur rage, people that always wore faux fur, or people that are jumping on the faux fur train.

I personally bought my fur coat from Forever 21 for 12.90 on clearance, because I planned on using it for a halloween costume that never came to fruition. Which means that I really don’t fall in any of those categories. Thus, I present to you:

The Stages of L.A. on New Year’s in her faux fur coat

1. The self conscious L.A.

I put the fur coat on after staring at all my coats, deciding I couldn’t wear a North Face out on NYE, and remembering we had plans to walk to our destination. Then GoldDust sent me the following:

IMG_1800

So, knowing that I wouldn’t be the only one in fur, I put the furry on, hoping I could pull it off.

2. The grateful L.A.

The walk in the cold and windy and snowy weather suddenly made me thrilled that I had put on the fur. Michigan is really cold, guys. Like freezing.

3. The fashionable L.A.

The point at which I felt confident, tipsy, and like I could rule the world in my fur coat. You guys. I looked good.

IMG_0022 copy 

4. The Nesting L.A.

In which all I know is how soft the furry is and how warm the furry is and YOU GUYS, feel my arm.

And finally, stage 5.

Image via Wikipedia.

Guys, I’m a polar bear.

Advertisements

in which we don’t need no stinkin’ pants.

I’m not that girly. I’m not going to lie. GoldDust tried once to put liquid eyeliner on me, and I cried before she even got one eye done. I’m just not a high maintenance female. I roll out of bed in the morning, brush my hair and teeth, and head out the door.

I forgot pants once because I was in such a daze.

This means, that when I go to the effort of getting dolled up, it’s a big effort. On Tuesdays and Thursday mornings, however, sometimes I’ll make the extra effort because I know I’ll be seeing my BFF Poof, who runs a fashion blog. It’s nice when our photos don’t feature her being adorable and me in a t-shirt. But that’s happened before.

One Tuesday and/or Thursday (I’m not sure which it was), I happened to be dolled up after playing photographer with Poof, and good things happened to happen. I got tickets to the most epic of epic things in the hockey world: tickets to the Winter Classic.

And you guys know that I love my hockey.

So, in a flurry of excitement and high energy, I headed to the most ideal place: Starbucks.

“Coffbanger,” I tell my barista. “GUESS WHAT I HAVE?!”

Coffbanger happens to have been my barista for a long time standing, and thus, he knows of my hockey love. He guessed within three tries that it was hockey tickets, and laughed at my outwardly excessive amount of glee.

However.

His co-worker was not such a good sport.

“Wait,” the coworker tells me, interrupting Coffbanger’s and my conversation. “You can’t be a hockey fan.”

Eyebrow raise here. The awkward silence says that he should stop talking.

The coworker continues, however. “You can’t be a hockey fan. You’re in a dress.”

Cue the jaw drop. Of course, I would never take this lying down.

Immediately following this trip to Starbucks, I had to inform the masses.

I’m so irritated. I’m tired of having to define icing to prove that I actually like hockey, as opposed to just wanting to hump Darren Helm*.

“Well,” I tell him. I manage to keep smiling. No amount of anger can wipe my “I’m going to the Winter Classic” smile off my face. And then this spills out faster than they’re making my coffee.

“You can’t be a man, you’re in skinny jeans.”

Coffbanger, the coworker, and I are all silent for a moment before Coffbanger lets out a snort of laughter.

Barista2

Mohawk summed it up pretty nicely. Of course I had to text someone about my moment of greatness as I walked away.

Seriously though. Can’t a girl like her hockey in a dress?

And such a cute dress too.

And such a cute dress too.

Seriously. I looked fecking adorable.

Dress: Free People. Cardi: Forever 21. Belt: Banana Republic. Wedges: Charlotte Russe. Comeback: 2000% L.A.

Dress: Free People. Cardi: Forever 21. Belt: Banana Republic. Wedges: Charlotte Russe. Comeback: 2000% L.A.

Sound off, female hockey fans.

Can’t a girl wear a dress and be a hockey fan? Or a sports fan?

I know I’m not the only one with sports colored knee socks for playoff games.

*the writer acknowledges that yes, she would also like to hump Darren Helm.

Can’t take it with you (90’s Style)

So, in the midst of closet cleaning, I discovered a number of things that I may have…how do you say…err’d in purchasing. I mean, you never really know exactly what is in your closet, until you’re cleaning it out.

Like…

The colored jean trend. Colors in my closet: blue, teal, purple, rose

The colored jean trend.

Instagram == not nice for embedding. Peplum == nice for everybody.

Instagram == not nice for embedding. Peplum == nice for everybody.

Various trends that come and go as fashion does, and fill up your closet until you…can’t…close…the…door*.

This got me thinking.

I don’t really shop anymore, at least not like I used to, now that I thankfully don’t work in retail anymore and thankfully am better at saving my money. But I’ve definitely (with the exception of my colored jeans, and the peplum shirts, for which I’m taking the trends with me) gone through a few…how you say…

Fashion Faux Pas.

And now, in no particular order, stages of L.A.’s fashion history that would probably make the world a better place if we could just cut them out.

1. The belly shirt

Oh yes. I went there.

The number of times I got in trouble in high school for a “bare midriff” is actually pretty embarrassing  in retrospect. I was always very thin growing, up, and so it just happened that my shirts would become too short while fitting just fine everywhere else.

Growing pains. It’s acceptable. 

Continuing to wear the shirt, because I was just that cool, was not. After graduating high school, I wore too short t-shirts all the time. Just because I could.

2. Clogs

Everyone had these. They’ve even come around twice in the fashion world since I’ve been around. We all wanted them in 5th grade, and then again, when I got into high school. I had a pair the first time around, but mine were different from everyone else’s, and I hated that.

Then, high school came around and I could make my own fashion errors with my own money… I couldn’t afford whatever the actual brand was, so when they came out at Target with the looks just like it pair, I snatched them up. It was my redemption for fifth grade. Unfortunately, that means that I wore them freaking everywhere. Seriously. They’re in my senior photos. Sad to say, you can’t erase those kind of memories.

3. I’m so sorry.

This was me, basically the entire first two years of college.

4. Old Navy Performance Fleece Tech Vest

Old Navy! Old Navy! Old Navy Performance Fleece!

I hope you’re singing that jingle in your head now, because it’ll be stuck in mine. Imagine this. 12 year old me, on the skating rink. I have on Kristi Yamaguchi roller blades. I’m wearing a baby blue baseball tee, flare jeans bedazzled with snowflakes, and my brand new baby blue Old Navy Tech Vest. My first boyfriend and I started dating at this moment. That’s what I was wearing. That’s what I’ll never forget.

Old Navy! Old Navy! Old Navy Convenience Store!

5. I tried to keep this purchase alive. I wore them in grade school. Got new ones in high school. And proceeded to keep them, up until this last purge. I kept saying that one day I would need them. Maybe that day when I decide to be Daria Morgendorfer for Halloween. Maybe when baby doll dresses come back into fashion, or Courtney Love is a role model for young women everywhere. Maybe when Nirvana is played on the popular music channels. Either way. I had them. I loved them.

I’ll remember you fondly, combat boots.

And this sums up today’s post of L.A. likes to embaress herself via public blog! Feel free to steal the blog button I’ve made for the side of other blog type thingys!

COPY THIS!

<a href=”https://chicksinthemitt.wordpress.com”><img src=”http://i1282.photobucket.com/albums/a521/LA_thegirl/BlogButton_zpsb7d38687.jpg&#8221; /></a>

And COMMENT, because you were probably an awkwardly dressed teen once too!

 

Bike, bike, fashion, baby.

If you follow me on twitter…

if you don’t, WHY THE FECK NOT?!

…you may have noticed me and one @Beausaphine of the awesome wasteofheels.com waxing all sorts of philosophical about those damn Newsies.

Newsies is a great Disney movie that once starred Batman, AKA Christian Bale, who is probably really pissed now that he’d didn’t decide to be in the musical version. Newsies basically dance and sing and deliver papers in one giant package of awesome. Also, they’re in knickers the entire time. It’s pretty much team awesome.

Newsies, Knickers, and a whole lotta splits.

One Halloween, I actually dressed up as a Newsie, which basically meant I was a [sexy/skanky] Newsie, since that’s how Halloween works.

CoSi: What are you supposed to be?

L.A.: I’m a Newsie!

CoSi: Aren’t you supposed to be in knickers then?

L.A.: Yeah, but I’m a girl, so I’m a [sexy/skanky] Newsie.

Now is the time to seize the day, etc.

It was kind of disappointing then, that I wasn’t rocking the knickers. I was letting down all the Newsies. I proceeded to hope that knickers would make some kind of comeback, besides on a stage in NYC.

Then, this went down.

Kid in office: Hi, I’m [Kid in office] here for an appointment.

Long silence.

L.A.: …did you bike here?

Kid in office: …how’d you know?

L.A.: my dad does the same thing when he bikes.

Way to go, Dad.

Knickers. They’re baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.