Author Archives: GoldDust

Would you like me to take your gum?

I have been too sentimental my last few blog posts. Getting back to random and funny parts of life.

My dating life…

Serious relationships are not my style at the moment, but it doesn’t mean I stop myself from enjoying the company of the opposite sex. And dating always has funny moments.

Back story…

El and I met while I was on vacation in Grand Rapids earlier this summer. We met in one of my favorite bars, The Meanwhile. He was hard not to notice. Very tall and handsome with his dark hair and piercing brown eyes.  He kept smiling and winking at me. He did this combo one last time as I walked out of the bar. I was smitten. I got a block away from the bar, and realized I was going to be bold. I told my friend that we were going back. I was going to talk to Tall and Handsome . She rolled her eyes at my grand plan, but agreed he was too hot to ignore. Making my way back into the bar, I sprinted up to him with my hand out to shake his, introducing myself. We chatted for few minutes and exchanged numbers. Feeling accomplished, I left the bar for the second time.

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Ladies, that’s how it is done. You want to know someone and you want their number. Just go for it. 

After flirty texting and two dates, we had realistic expectations about our courtship. I was going back to Detroit and he lived in Grand Rapids. But, it didn’t mean we couldn’t enjoy each other’s company when being in the same city. Physical attraction was too hard to ignore, too.

Two months, and countless text messages later…

El texted me to say he was coming to the D for the night. He and his buddy wanted to hit the casinos and wanted me to join. I was elated… a date with no expectations for a relationship. My style of a prince charming!

We had dinner and hit the casino. It started to get late, but El’s buddy didn’t want to leave the poker tables. So El and I left him behind and headed to hotel. Clearly, we wanted one on one time too.

Driving back to hotel, I pulled out gum. (You want fresh breath if you’re going to kiss your hot, out of town fling.)

Being polite I offered him gum too.  Not really thinking, I just handed him my pack of Trident White Duel Pack. I expected he would just take a piece and hand it back to me.

NOPE! This did not happen.

Instead, he took a piece of gum for his mouth, and then ripped the dual pack apart. He handed me half and placed the other half in the middle cubby of his Audi.

I was dumb founded. Mouth opened, I looked down at my pitiful half pack of gum and then at the other half siting in the middle cubby. El stole my tartar fighting gum. I didn’t know what to say…

33% more for you to share or steal...

33% more for you to share or steal…

We made our way back to his hotel. I didn’t want to ruin the awesome evening by pointing out that he had stole my gum so I brushed it off. We finished out our evening.

The next morning, we said our see-you-soons and he drove back to Grand Rapids.

I can’t shake the thought that El is a gum snatcher. Like at least, he could’ve asked or offered to get me a pack gum when he saw me next. Any type of gesture would have been polite.

Ladies, beware you never know where a gum snatcher could be lurking. Keep your purses closed and keep an emergency gum pack for safe keeping.

Keep it secret, keep it safe.

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Cue Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide.

So Labor Day Weekend marks the transition from summer to fall.

This summer has been a magical time for me. I have been so fortunate to be surrounded by so many amazing people. I wouldn’t trade the late nights that turned into early mornings, the laughter or randomness. But I’m ready for the winds of change. The air reeks of it.

The leaves aren’t the only thing changing colors.

It seems like myself and everyone around me is in transition.

I just moved into a new house. I’m also making plans to change a few other things in my life, not just geography.

My dear friend Hot Chocolate is moving to another state for a his job this week. I’m sad to see him leave, but I’m so proud of him and excited to see what this opportunity will bring him.

He has given me so much this summer. More than I could ever repay him, so I will not burden him with sadness of leaving. I rather celebrate the joy of something new and exciting.

Hot Chocolate and I at his going away party.

Hot Chocolate and I at his going away party. Throwing up a deuce to the past.

L.A. is also in her own set of changes. Boo started kindergarten. Someone very dear to her moved away. She has other things that are in transition also.

It’s all chaotic. We don’t know what each day will bring. It all seems to be moving so fast. Not a moment to take a deep breath and enjoy it.

Summing up our thoughts on change. I'm too happy to open my eyes and L.A. is confused. But, we have each other to get through it.

Summing it all up. I’m too happy to open my eyes, and L.A. is confused. But we have each other to get through it.

Even with all the confusion and chaos, I have a sense of calm.

I’m excited about all the change. It’s progression. I love progression.

I don’t know if there is something in the water or if I have reached euphoria, but I don’t fear change anymore. I crave it.

Good things can’t become great things without change.

I’ve been afraid of changing
‘Cause I, I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I’m getting older too oh yes
I’m getting older too

Run like Forrest Gump

So at the beginning of the summer I started training for The Crim 10 Mile race. Well, this past Saturday was race day. I’m happy to say I completed it!!!

Such an amazing feeling to add this to my list of accomplishments.

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Some funny things happened while I ran my little heart off.

The race started off fine, but I had to pee 3 miles in…

Peeing during a race is the worst thing. You never know where the next restroom is located. Also, you’re not the only person who has to pee.

I was in line for 15 minutes to use the facility. While I was waited I got to see some oddly dressed runners. We had two mermaids which I didn’t know mermaids could run. We had Wonder Woman. Why didn’t she just fly to the finish line? Also, several ballerina with their tutus. I would think the tutu would weigh a runner down.

After catching my breath and relieving myself, I started to peddle away. The miles started to blur together.

My thoughts,

I’m actually doing this. I’m running and I’m getting closer to the finish line.

About the 7 mile marker I noticed something a strange about a runner … she had no shoes on!!! 10 miles no shoes!!! Her feet were black. I don’t know how she did it. I would cry after the first mile.

I finally reached the last mile. Exhausted. Sweating. Sore. We ran passed the last water station. A woman in front me grabbed a drink. When she finished she did not toss the cup to the side like proper cup tossing when running. Instead she whipped it behind her, right into my face. Yes, I got hit in the face with an empty cup. I was more stocked than upset. Who whips a cup during a race?

Finally, we rounded the corner and the finish line was insight. The excitement took over my body and I began to sprint. In a blink of an eye, I crossed the finish line. 10 miles behind me.

I’m still glowing with accomplishment. I had some amazing people waiting at the finish line for me. My brother and my co-workers competed in the race also.

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When is the next race?

When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year…

I need to give a shout to my amazing family of friends. After having an wild weekend with all of them I think they deserve a shout out. You will enjoy my friends as much as I do.

Of course, you know that L.A. and I are friends, actually BFF’s. This blog would be pointless without us being friends. Why is she so amazing to me? Well we are practically the same person in two separate bodies. It’s kind of creepy. Our relationship sometimes walks the line of romantic instead of platonic, but we like it that way. I love her for your huge heart. She never fails to find good in people even when they have wronged her. I truly admire her for that. When you find someone who accepts you for who you are, you don’t let them go.

Aren’t we adorable?

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Next up is Poof. We came into each other’s lives when we exactly needed it. She and I have had our ups and downs, but we always seem to find a way to understand where the other one is coming from. Our college days together could write a best seller. She’s a partier, but knows how to really work. Her work ethic amazes me. We had our own television show in college and she always maded the most impossible projects come together. Even now, she is a doer. She is a full-time mommy and still can put together a fashion blog and manage her successful business of reselling designer named clothing, all at the same time. She is my magical bff.

She accepts me and my angry forehead vein

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Having Hot Chocolate in my life has truly made me more honest to myself. I can’t thank or repay him enough for that.  He is the best gift I could’ve ever received from my ex. I can be completely open with Hot Chocolate. It could be considered creepy or awkward, but our friendship works because of it. He is also there for me when I need to vent or just have someone there to not say a word. The unspoken understanding is what I love most about our friendship. We can be in a car for two hours and not say word to each other, but we know it was the best time together. The reflection he gives me of myself is something that can’t be found in too many friendships.

He  let’s me wear his deodorant when I forget to put mine on too.

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Last, but certainly not least is my Savvy. We recently rekindled our friendship. Smartest thing we could’ve done. She knows my wild and crazy side. We became friends because we worked in a chaotic restaurant together. Our pasts are very similar so we understand each other when the one is freaking out about something. Seeing each other at our lowest points makes it easy to know someone without asking questions.  Randomness is what brings us together. Even when she is being wild and freaking out there is still a softness and kindness about her. Her dry humor makes any moment funnier.

She does what she wants when she wants it.

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My heart is full from my family of friends.

No Scrubbing for Me

It is a surreal feeling to know that my mother at my age was already married, had her first child, and owned a home.

…I’m lucky if I make breakfast for myself in the morning.

Times have definitely changed, and people at my age are all over the place when it comes to the stages of their lives.

Fortunately, I can say that I’m not doing too badly for myself at 25. I love my career. I pay my own bills. And I don’t live with my parents.

I’m not as successful as I want to be, but I believe I’m on the right path to kicking life in the butt.

Our world is ever changing so it isn’t easy to start a life and find stability.

This fact has made dating a disaster for me.

I can best describe my dating life with songs from Destiny Child and TLC .

Since people at my age are over the place… compatibility is so hard to find.

Relationships can get stale when the couple isn’t at the same place in life.

I’m not trying to bash anyone, but it’s a stressful thought. I just want to date someone who I don’t have drive around because they don’t have a car. Or I don’t want to date someone who hasn’t finished college because they can’t figure out their degree.

To prove my headache… I recently had a no scrub moment in a bar.

A nice looking male kept smiling at me at the bar. He approached me to have a conversation. Everything was going smoothly until I asked him what he did for a living. He said he had lost his job and wasn’t sure what he wanted to do next.

REALLY?!?!?!?!?!

Like yes, we all fall on hard times and we can’t always control situations that happen to us. I shouldn’t judge, but what am I suppose to do with that?

Was he trying to play the guilt card into my heart?

Was he trying to be honest? Yes, someone shouldn’t be penalized for honesty.

But the entire factor just made everything all more difficult.

The situation wouldn’t have been so discouraging if he would have said,

“Yeah, I lost my job today, but I’m planning to go back to get my Master’s.” OR “I’m planning to open my own business. I would love to share with you my business proposal sometime.”

We might not have it all figured out like our parents did at our age, but we definitely can have a plan.

I’m not just talking goals/dreams in life. I’m talking about having plans to reach those achievements.

Good things don’t come without hard work.

I guess I will be planning out how to make my dating life better and more fulfilling .

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Sorry, I’m not sorry

I’ve been told that I apologize way too much for things that don’t need to be apologized for.

Example:

“I’m sorry I was early to work ”

“I’m sorry I bought beer for the entire office. I hope that’s okay.”

I think it stems from working in the restaurant industry. I was constantly trying to make someone happy and pleased so I apologized even though everything could be perfectly fine.

Recently, I’ve been in a situation where I was definitely apologizing for things I know I should not have been apologetic for.

To reverse this, I will not apologize for several things that I was made to feel like I should.

So what am I not sorry for?

I’m not sorry if I want/need something I go out and get it for myself. I don’t wait for it to magically land on my door step or for someone else to get for me.

I’m not sorry that I have a brand new car in my drive-way. It’s represents how hard I’ve worked to make my life better.

I’m not sorry that I know when to swallow my pride.

I’m not sorry that I have a job that I absolutely love.

I’m not sorry that I will do everything in my power to make situations better, and not just wish for it to happen.

I’m not sorry that I do know how to balance work and play. And sometimes, work trumps play.

I’m not sorry that I take responsibility for my actions. I don’t attempt to rationalize why it’s okay to hurt others or cut corners.

I’m not sorry that I want to see the good in people, but it doesn’t mean that it’s okay for them to take advantage of my kindness.

I’m not sorry for having a big beautiful heart that deserves to be respected.

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The Troubles with Second Base

Training for my 10 mile run and going to Zumba have really started to give me results for my physique. I don’t look like a body builder, but I feel like a much healthier person.

There is only one part of my body that hasn’t had much transformation because of working out.  And really hasn’t since 5th grade.

People… that would be my chest.

I’ve never been part of itty bitty titty committee and I should be feel blessed, but there are down falls to having a chest.

Table cloth or a shirt…

I’m a petite person except for my chest. Most cases I have to purchase a size bigger to give my two chest roommates space to breath. Having to make this accommodation makes me look like I’m wearing a table cloth instead of an actual t-shirt. The table cloth curse also occurs, I do not own a white shirt that doesn’t have a stain on the chest area. It never fails… I put on a  shirt and ten minutes later a stain magically appears on my chest shelf.

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Running blind…

I’ve been running 3 times week to get ready for my race, but I have to plan my laundry days so I have enough clean sports bras. Ladies with chests don’t have the luxury to run free. It’s could turn into a disaster. If I don’t strap down my precious cargo I could injure myself. Things could start flying around uncontrollably, hitting me in the face.

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Victoria does have a secret…

It’s slim picking when I go bra shopping. Since I don’t have to fake it to make it, I don’t get the choice of the colorful fun bras at Vikki’s. I get stuck with three choices: white, tan and black. The fun bras usually have too much padding, giving too much push-up. If I were to risk wearing the bright colorful bra with padding, I could endanger myself by being suffocated with my two attached boulders. I like breathing so I stick with the bland pickings.

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Long live the bigg girls.

Cucumber Man… the myth, the legend, the man.

In my last post, I shared a story of Cucumber Man. I promise to share how his name came to be. I’m keeping my promise.

In the summer my office has a company garden. We have a huge shipping yard with lots of space so it’s easy and everyone enjoys the free produce.

I started my job in late summer of last year. So I didn’t have help with the process of up-keeping the garden, but I did get to enjoy the fruits of everyone else’s labor.

One day, before Cucumber Man was actually Cucumber Man, he picked a fat, perfect green cucumber from the garden and brought it into the office for safe keeping.

He made one vital mistake with his safe keeping. He left the cucumber on the office’s kitchen counter.

Even I, who had only been working at the office for 2 weeks, knew not to do this.

The office’s kitchen counter is fare game. If something is on it then anyone can consume or take it without asking. Simple 101 rules of the office.

Cucumber Man left his perfect cucumber on the counter… unattended and unguarded.

When he returned to the counter… he discovered it was gone.  The horror!!!

The cucumber hunt…

Cucumber man started screaming for his cucumber.

“Who took my cucumber?”

“Where is my cucumber?”

I had not witnessed the cucumber go missing and I did not take it. Nor did I care about the cucumber.

Cucumber man questioned each person he encountered.

He had to come to his own conclusion when he found me for questioning.

“Did you take my cucumber. You look guilty.”

No, I didn’t take your cucumber, jerk face. The expression on my face reflects my complete shock that you’re freaking out over someone taking your cucumber. -This is what I wanted to say.

Instead… I denied taking it, but knowing in his heart he believed I had stolen it.

About an hour later, the cucumber resurfaced. One of the outside sales guys took it, thinking it was fair game since it was on the office’s kitchen counter.

Cucumber man came in my office and gave me a half-hearted apology.

“I’m sorry I thought you took the cucumber, but you looked guilty.”

Never take a man’s cucumber. The wrath is unbearable.

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Bring Home the Bacon

My office has a pretty carefree energy about it. We get the job done and then we drink. It’s our motto.

Fridays are reserved for beer. We get out at 4pm, and usually find a bar to unwind.

Last week was no exception. We found a local bar to help drown the week’s chaos.

The boss’ son works for the company, and our work relationship has always been rocky. I have given him the nickname of Cucumber Man. I will save that story for another time.

Cucumber Man is a character and we don’t see eye-to-eye on much. He is a very forward person with his opinions, and isn’t always polite about sharing them. He is also a vegetarian. I’m the opposite of him so we bicker regularly.

While at the bar, we started to bicker about all sorts of things. I know the rest of the office is rolling their eyes at us.

He began to whine about being a vegetarian and why it makes him selfless… blah, blah, blah.

I asked him if there was one thing he missed about eating meat. He said that he really missed bacon.

“Tofu bacon isn’t the same.”

Of course it’s not the same… it’s tofu.

At this point, I became audacious.

“Well since you won’t eat meat, I will eat meat for you. You can get me a BLT and I will enjoy the crispy bacon you deny yourself.”

He thought I was joking, but I found a waitress, gave her my order and told her to put it on his bill.

He watched all of this and didn’t do anything. I assume he was in shock.

Moments later, I received my delicious BLT sandwich with crispy bacon.

Before my first bite, I looked at him and said,

“I will let you have a bite and not tell anyone that you ate meat.”

He laughed and looked away as I began to enjoy the master piece.

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I got another bold idea after I had finished eating my BLT that the vegetarian had purchased for me.

As he sat next to me, sipping his beer, I asked him about his ex-girlfriend.

Back story: Cucumber Man had a traumatizing break-up. She dumped him and two months later she was engaged to another man. It’s been closet office joke for months.

His only replied to my question with,

“We are the ‘no speaking’ terms”

I sarcastically replied with,

“that’s unfortunate.”

Being satisfied with my conquest, I sobered up and decided to leave the broken man at the bar.

I want more bacon.

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I wanted the cookie, but not the fortune

Recently, my office decided to get Chinese for lunch .

I’ve always found my work lunch hour to be a peaceful time, but that changed by the opening of a fortune cookie one day.

My favorite thing about eating chinese is the fortune cookie… just like anyone. I really don’t pay attention to the fortune. I actually love to eat the cookie. The light sweet taste is so delicious.

On this particular day, I could not ignore the fortune. It was only one word. I have never had a fortune only be one word. This one word was terrifying. Especially to someone who is single.

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It was like someone had whispered it to me, “relationships.” No capitalization, just lowercase and a period. Poor punctuation.

What heck is it suppose mean? Am I suppose to build more relationships? Fix the ones form the past? Should I avoid them at all cost?

What is the real fortune? It’s seems to be more of a warning.

I want to meet the jerk who thought this fortune was worthy to put in a cookie. Do they realize the anxiety that it caused me? Was that their plan all along?

Fortune cookies aren’t suppose to cause questioning.

Needless to say, I will not be eating Chinese or fortune cookies for the time being.

Eating is suppose to be pleasurable. Not terrifying.