it’s a massacre, guys.
Post Edited – scroll down, friends and lovers.
I took Boo to a hockey game a few weeks ago, because we like hockey and that’s what we do sometimes.
It turns out that the game is the annual teddy bear toss, so we stop by the store to get Boo a teddy bear to throw. He’s excited, guys.
And then the bears start flying.
Boo: Is it time?
Me: Yeah, you can throw the bear now.
Boo: We’re too high, it won’t go that far.
Me: We can go closer so you can throw it.
Now, we’re sitting in the upper bowl…
…and the kid has a point, so we start moving closer so he’ll have an easier time of getting the bear onto the rink.
Boo: Where do I throw it?
Me: On the ice, see all the other bears?
Boo: Throw him on the ice?
Me: Yeah, see how everyone else is?
Boo: …he’ll get cold.
Me: I think they’ll warm him up.
Boo: …he’ll get wet.
Me: I think they’ll dry him off.
At this point, volunteers are on the ice to start boxing up all these flying teddy bears. The players start helping gather the bears. That’s when it gets really fun.
Me: Just throw the bear, bud.
Boo: THEY’RE USING THE BEARS AS PUCKS.
Me: No, they’re just helping to gather the bears up.
Boo’s face is a cross between Puss in Boots and the Screamer. This isn’t a good cause. This is not for the children, like Mommy told him. This is a mother-effing massacre.
Boo: THEY ARE HITTING THE BEARS WITH THEIR STICKS.
Me: Baby, just throw the bear. It’s not hurting the bears.
Boo: THEY ARE HURTING THE BEARS!
Me: They’re not hurting the-
Boo: WHY ARE THEY HURTING THE BEARS?
And that’s how Dash the polar bear joined our family.
I’m mildly amazed at the amount of popularity this post has gotten……and the various tweets and facebook posts from people who have enjoyed this post (all the good karma to you people) — amazed to the point where I read the whole thing out loud to Boo, as I sometimes do when it involves cute things he says, minus the swears Mommy adds when she writes it.
Mommy: “…and that’s how Dash the polar bear joined our family.”
Boo: He’s a pretty good bear.
Mommy: He taught Mommy that we will probably not be going to the teddy bear game next year.
Boo: He taught me that the only thing we throw at hockey games is the octopus.
Posted on December 9, 2013, in DNA and other bonding things. Like Blood., The Good Ol' Hockey Game, We Think We're Funny, Words and Phrases and tagged Charity, Friday Night, Good Cause, Grand Rapids Griffins, Hockey, Teddy Bear Toss, Teddy Bears, Things Kids Say. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.