That angry little ghost with the camera, and other social medias.

My friends tried for weeks to get me to get a snapchat. The latest craze, and whatnot. But I was bound and determined to never ever ever use facebook twitter instagram keek gifboom snapchat.

Let’s be honest. It was really just invented to probably make sexting easier for people. 

I actually used this phrase with the 9 year old that lives across the street from me and was trying to convince me to download the thing.

“When I was your age, I didn’t have a cellphone, let alone have snapchat.”

Guys, I’m old.

I mean, maybe not in like the big picture-the universe is ancient scheme of things. But like, in my regular I’m on social media too much for my own good life, I’m fucking old.

The progression of my life from then to snapchat.

Age 17: First Digital Camera. I am mad because if I had gotten the camera sooner, I would have been able to bring a smaller purse to prom.

Age 18: AIM adds direct connection and we are able to send our pictures via instant message. My computer instantly slows down with the addition of so many JPEGs.

Age 20. First camera phone. I embarrass the guy who sends me the very first dick pic in my life when I pull the phone out in a group of friends asking what the hell it was. You really couldn’t tell what it was. IT WAS A VERY BAD QUALITY PICTURE, AND I BLAME LG.

Age 21: First camera phone with flash. I am temporarily blinded by the next dick pic because let’s be honest, those things are fucking awkward, and those early camera phone flashes were fucking bright.

Age 26: Snapchat comes into my life.

A few weeks ago when I was out with AsianDave and Alto. We were chilling at Yesterdog when this hot mess of a woman(in a dress twelve sizes too small with a BAC that was above the legal limit to walk in five inch heels) fell all over herself, and the two of them went crazy snapchatting her sorry ass.

They were not subtle at all.

They were not subtle at all.

“You need a snapchat.” Alto tells me. “We can send pictures all the time to each other. It’s like texting, but better.”

“But let’s be honest.” I respond. “Snapchat was created by people who wanted to be able to sext and not get caught. AND NOW SMALL CHILDREN ARE USING IT.”

“That’s true,” Alto agrees. “I’m actually pretty afraid every time I get a snapchat, that it’s going to be a dick pic.”

AND THAT IS WHY I WILL NEVER GET SNAPCHAT.

Cue to the next day.

TomSelleck

Yeah. I gave in.

“Here’s my stance on snapchat.” I declare, while simultaneously sending the above snapchat, another one of the menu of the restaurant we were at, and yet another one of my hard cider. “The instant I get a snapchat of a penis, I’m deleting the app. I know why they made snapchat. I refuse to have random manparts on my phone.”

“Actually,” TomSelleck tells me. “I’ve gotten all sorts of balls snapchats, from when my friends are bored.”

“…”

“…”

“…maybe it’s a guy thing.” I shrug.

BUT WAIT.

I’m snapchatting with Mystique.

Tanner Jones is my right boob, by the way.

Mystique’s boobs have names too.

the age old question

Rhetorical question, clearly.

Rhetorical question, clearly.

Back to that conversation with TomSelleck.

“Now that I think about it.” I say. “I actually get boob pictures on snapchat all the time.”

TomSelleck frowns. “I’ve never gotten a boob picture.

GChat

Dear Snapchat,

Thanks for not letting any dick pics get through to my phone*, and for showing me that men and women, we aren’t so different after all.

Love, me

*I’ll for serious delete snapchat if I get any. Don’t send me any. WEIRDOS.

About L.A.

Mom Life/Engaged Life/Blog Life/Love Life

Posted on June 20, 2013, in Twatterpants and other social networks, We Think We're Funny and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. I don’t even have a clue what snapchat is! >_< Time to get with the program.

  2. ahaha, i know that feeling. i never wanted to get myspace, then when myspace died i refused to get facebook, i also refused to ever get twitter, dailybooth, instagram, kik, viber, whatsapp BUT i have it all… i am so weak. hahaha
    i am still refusing to get snapchat though. what’s the point of snapchat when you already have kik, viber and whatsapp? can you please explain that to me?
    btw if you have kik, viber or whatsapp we could totally send eacht other pictures too! :-p

    • I actually only had kik for awhile, and NEVER used it. ALSO, I have NEVER heard of viber or whatsapp!

      THIS IS WHY I’M SO SAD I GOT THE SNAPCHAT!!

      • i don’t like viber or kik… i just have it because a few of my friends have it and they want to write there instead of sms. BUT i love whatsapp. it’s so much better than snapchat. :-p
        you should definitely get whatsapp!😉

      • Lol, I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO ANOTHER APP.

        GET SNAPCHAT. GET IT NOW.

      • why should i give in?!?!?! no, no, no! i will not get snapchat! get whatsapp! once you’ve tried it you will delete snapchat immediately! :-p

      • I tell you what. I’ll get whatsapp ONLY IF you get snapchat. Then we can dual communicate until we either pick one, or come to a terrible, terrible social media impasse.

      • ahahaha, the problem is… i already tried to get it but it just won’t verify my mobile number!!!😦

      • OH NO. BUT HOW WILL WE SNAP?!

      • i don’t know!!! ask snap why it won’t verify my mobile number! haha

      • HA, I should. I WANNA SNAP YOU!!!!!!

      • okay, i think i added you… please tell me you snapchat name is la_thegirl. mine is malu1985. so i guess you have to accept me before i can send you anything.😀
        it still hasn’t verified my phone number but i figured out how to add people with usernames. yay me! haha

      • WELL DONE. Lol. I love snapping with you already.

      • same here! i love it too!😀
        i just hate that you can’t look at the photos afterwards. or is there a way and i just haven’t figured it out yet?!

      • You can screenshot, but that’s it! But that’s why I like it, lol, because you can’t save them!

  1. Pingback: Jack and Jill went up the hill and then slid down it on the other side on a board and were given a gold medal for their efforts. | Chicks In The Mitt

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