Times, they are a-changing.
I remember being in 8th grade, and talking with my best friend about boys. She was dating this guy Jeremy, and they had been together for so long (like months) that I was so sure they were going to get married. I hadn’t dated anyone since my relationship with Nate, this guy from a rival Catholic grade school, and my best friend was telling me it was time to get back into the game.
So I sent Nick a Valentine day gram, telling him that I liked him. Because you were supposed to like someone. It was like, unspoken rules. And that was basically my perception of how grade school romance looked.
Fast Forward a few years to my high school years. I was in the musical my junior year, and started hanging out with Ex. He and I flirted all the time. I like, sat on his lap and stuff.. I tied bow ties on him. We shared sodas. We hung out in the same group of friends.
One day, we were walking down the stairs together at school, with our khakis pants and our collared shirts and our backpacks, and we held hands. Bam, we were together. And that was how my high school view of romance worked.
In college, I met BabyDaddy at a musical audition. I remember he winked at me in the dorm hallway. There was flirting and kissing and other things. We were “together” but not “together,” for reasons I won’t bore you with, mostly because they were my fault.. But after about a year and a half of this in between thing we were where I was crazy overly dramatic and young, we had a moment.
“Okay,” BabyDaddy gives me a kiss as he packs up his truck to head to Chicago for the weekend. “I’m really leaving.”
I’m pouting. “I’m going to miss you.” I tell him.
He sighs. He goes over to his computer and clicks a bunch of things. “There. Now you can’t complain that I’m going.”
I’m curious. I look at the computer. It’s the facebook login screen. I log into my account, and there it is.
BabyDaddy has said he is in a relationship with you. Do you want to accept?
And that was when we “officially” became a couple. Thus, my college life perception of romance.
So, now I’m all grown up because I’m 26.
(Pause for minor freakout over being 26)
And you’d think that by now, I’d have somewhat of a grasp on how romance and things get put together. After all, Bobo and Cosi are now happily married, and my parents are a shining example of how love works, and Poof and her family are so color coordinated that if you didn’t know them, you’d probably puke from the cuteness. I don’t puke because I know them.
But I don’t. You know what I do have?
Random Man at Arnie’s (sits down next to me while I wait for my Scandinavian Shuffle): How’s it going?
Me (glances sideways. Totally distracted because I’m playing Candy Crush on my phone): Good, thanks.
I’m pretty sure I smiled. Cue silence.
Random Man: Hey, I’m sorry, but I just noticed your left hand.
Me (startled): What, am I bleeding?
Random Man (laughs at me): Hi, my name is Dave.
I’m still checking for blood.
Random Man: What’s yours?
Me: Oh. I’m L.A.
Random Man Dave: …So, no ring?
Me: Oh. OH. Oh, no.
This is the portion where things dawn on me.
There is more silence. To make things even better, I lose at Candy Crush.
YOU PEOPLE CAN’T TAKE ME ANYWHERE. But in your pocket, on your phone, cuz of twitter.BUT NONE OF THIS REAL LIFE SHIT.
— Laura Anne (@LA_theGirl) May 7, 2013
Is this how things are supposed to work? How do you start things nowadays? Because I swear, I’m bringing back the Do you like me Check Yes or No things. Oh, also, give me some good pick up lines. Because I’ve definitely done this:
Him: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Me: I think that’s the biggest of the bears actually. Or it might be brown bear. One or the other. DID YOU SEE THE TWEET ABOUT THE LEAST THREATENING BEARS? It was hilarious because the Chicago Bears are less threatening than care bears. I think I favorited it on twitter. Hold on.
Him: I’m so glad we’re friends.
Posted on May 7, 2013, in Carpe Diem and YOLO and stuff like that, Fix My Lighthouse, We Think We're Funny and tagged Dating, How to, Left Hand, pick up lines, Romance, Wedding Ring. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.