Talk quietly, I’m probably listening.

We all know how completely relationship-phobic I am. But honestly, sometimes, I see, you know,  the happy peopleand I miss it.

There are always the good parts and the bad parts to a relationship and I know this — I know that you have to put forth the work to be with someone you love, and that you have to accept the differences, and that every relationship is a partnership.


But then.

I know that some relationships are bat-shit crazy.

I’m not normally an aggressively loud person. Which means, if I’m…

…in line behind you at the post office.

…sitting at a table near you at Starbucks.

…lounging at the park and you’re walking by.

That I might happen to overhear you and your significant other. And I might happen to wonder WTF, people. Why are you together?


Man: You can’t be mad at me.

Woman: I told you not to put it there. I told you.

Man: We don’t have to discuss everything.

Woman: This we do.

Man: I’m over this.

Woman: I’m over you.

Man: But it comes out!

At this point, I’m sure they’re about to break up. Obviously, they have terrible communication skills, and he did something that she did not appreciate and to make it worse, he didn’t even try to talk to her about it, which means she was caught by surprise and then it sounds something possibly got stuck.

They’re totally breaking up.

Woman: It won’t! You fucking ruined our coffee table!

Follow me on twitterwhere I post random things like this all the time. Except on Mondays. I just complain on Mondays.


About L.A.

Mom Life/Engaged Life/Blog Life/Love Life

Posted on April 16, 2013, in Twatterpants and other social networks, We Think We're Funny, Words and Phrases and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. You should totes tag the Dane Cook skit “The Game of Love and How To Destroy It”. It’s pretty amazing. And relevant. 🙂

  2. I LOVE the shit that people discuss in a public forum!!

  3. Listening to people’s conversations in public is probably one of my favorite things to do… which makes me sound like a total creeper, but if you don’t want me to listen then just don’t stand next to me is what i say.

    • It’s one of those little things that you can’t help but do.

      You know when you look at your pictures and there are strangers in the background, which means you are the stranger in the background of someone else’s shots??

      Same sort of thing. It just happens.

  4. I’ve decided I need to begin sitting in Starbucks on weekends with a digital recorder to capture the high school “drama” being discussed. Last time it was seriously better than any movie I have ever seen.


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