Deer: it’s what’s for Edward Cullen’s dinner.

It’s deer hunting time here in Michigan. Also, Twilight Part XXILV: Vampires have children who sparkle and grow came out. Which means that last night, my facebook feed looked something like this.

Hunter: I shot this f*cking deer, sparkly.
Robby: I could have caught him with my sparkly teeth, asshat.

Of course, I’ve made plans to go see Twilight, and made arrangements with numerous people that are venturing out in the woods in their camo attire to bring me back some damn jerky. Namely, because I hate the deer. But also, because I love the jerky. I really have no excuses for seeing Twilight.

Conversation from choir on Deer Season/Twilight Opening night:

Alto: You’re seriously going to see Twilight?

Me: Yes. I’ve seen all the movies. I’ve been sucked in.

Alto: I don’t get it though. It’s just vampires that sparkle.

Me: Not even that. They’re good hearted vampires. They don’t eat people. They’re vegetarian.

Alto: Don’t they drink blood?

Me: Well, yes, but not human blood. They kill like…lions. And bears. And deer.

Alto: That doesn’t even make sense.

Me: BUT IT DOES. Not only that. But today is opening day for Deer hunting. It’s like they called KPatz and were like, these deer are a big fucking problem.

Alto: Your point being?

Me: Deer cause all sorts of accidents in Michigan. They’re like crime fighting against all the deer. Working together for a common good.

Alto: …let’s not hang out anymore.


About L.A.

Mom Life/Engaged Life/Blog Life/Love Life

Posted on November 21, 2012, in Merriments, PSA, We Think We're Funny and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 18 Comments.

  1. Have you seen Twilight yet? Can we see it together? I’m having trouble finding people who haven’t seen it yet who won’t make fun of me for wanting to see it. (That makes sense, right?)

  2. oh my gosh! i can’t stop laughing! this is hilarious!
    i guess you watched twilight by now. i’m going to watch it on friday. i’ve heard that the movie is nothing like the book. i can’t wait to find out if it’s true. 🙂

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