Excuses are like assholes, and why this post is just made up of conversations.
I was going to blog last week on Wednesday. I even started a post about how much I really hate Halloween because most girls dress up like whores, and whores are supposed to have long legs, not ginormous bike thighs.
I have ginormous bike thighs.
Conversation from last summer:
Me: I’m so excited to not be able to wear pants for two weeks.
Dad: You aren’t going to wear pants while biking?
Me: That’s creepy, Dad. I will be wearing spandex. But after biking, my thighs will be huge. I will not be able to wear my $200 dollar jeans for weeks and I will be depressed and thus eat, defeating all the calories I will burn during the bike trip.
Dad: Well, it’s obvious what the problem is.
Me: ALL THIS FAMILY BIKING HAS GIVEN ME MY GINORMOUS BIKE THIGHS.
Dad: No. You spent $200 dollars on jeans.
You know what’s hard to do when you’re depressed about your thighs? Blog. So I didn’t blog on Wednesday. But Friday, I ended up going out with my bike thighs and we all had a good time. Conversation from Friday night:
Me: I’m gonna dance all night!
Bike Thighs: You put us in heels, so fuck that!
Me: Here’s some alcohol!
Bike Thighs: WE’RE GONNA DANCE ALL NIGHT!
Saturday, I woke up hangover free and feeling better about myself. The bike thighs and I got lots of compliments on being a sailor.
Let’s be honest, compliments make everyone feel better. So, my raised self esteem and I were all set to blog, when I sat down with my father because the world series was on, and the Tigers really, really, really needed a win. Conversation during the game.
Dad: They’re not going to win.
Me: Optimism, father.
Dad: Realism, daughter.
Me: So why are you watching?
Dad: Because it’s on. This is a fly ball.
Me: Home Run.
Dad: I can’t believe that was a home run. Cabrera didn’t believe it was a home run.
Me: Faith, father.
Dad: Realism, daughter.
I had to put the game on pause at this point, because Boo needed a bath, and I figured, the Tigers were up, this was a good time to do that and put him to bed. I could blog with all my optimism afterwards. Plus, Boo was thrusting and cheering which is just freaking funny. Conversation with Boo:
Boo: Who got a home run?
Boo: Mouse?! ALRIGHT!!
Created with Gifboom
Me: Not Mickey Mouse…Miguel Cabrera.
So, Boo finished his bath, and I put him to bed, and I was going to blog, really. But then I started watching the game again, and it went into extra innings, and I was all stressed out and then we lost.
Dad: I told you.
Me: Go to bed, Dad.
Dad: At least the Lions won today.
Me: I’m still upset.
Dad: Well, blame the Giants.
And that’s why you don’t really have a new post this week.
Posted on October 29, 2012, in Sporty type things that aren't hockey and tagged 2012 World Series, Bicycling, Detroit Tigers, Excuses, Halloween, San Francisco Giants, Thighs, World Series. Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.