Kleptaholism: so hot right now.

So, if you read my last post, you have have noticed a part where I just had to get this man’s sunglasses. I can’t explain it. I saw them. I went for them. The next thing you know, L.A. is dancing with this man, and wearing his sunglasses.

It’s what I do.

Remember my birthday, and that furry hat?

GoldDust texted me the week after this game. Caption: "I miss you, my Asian Koala."

YEAH. After I got that hat, GoldDust and I went to refill our drinks and pee. All the Nordiques jumped up instantly.

“Don’t take his hat! You can’t keep his hat! Accents! French words! Phrases with accents!”

If I hadn’t wanted to watch the rest of the game so badly, I would’ve taken the hat and run. Goodbye forever, Nordiques!

But honestly, for some reason, when I drink, I see things and feel like my life would be instantly better if I had this hat/glasses/t-shirt/sticker.

Kleptaholism (n): the act of taking strange things while inebriated.

People. I have a problem.

Example:

Remember that Wings game that we had a girls night for? Poof and I meant to keep blogging about that night. I yelled about being Asian, shots were poured, drinks were had. It was a pretty epic night. I believe at some point, I ditched my five inch sparkly heels in a casino because I just could not do the B-52’s Love Shack dance in them. Don’t worry. I wore the shoes home.

You know what else happened?

Kleptaholism.

Towards the end of our night, we found ourselves in the bar in the hotel we were staying at. Some sort of party was going on. Presumably a bachelor party, seeing as it was a bunch of men in button downs with too many buttons undone and crazy glasses. GoldDust kept telling them to button it up, because they weren’t classy gentlemen. Poof kept demeaning their manhood. Aviator kept asking why the hell we were talking to them.

But all I saw were these tacky sunglasses, and how much I wanted them.

The original glasses I stole were apparently prescription. This man actually went to the trouble of getting janky prescription glasses.

Obvious solution? Take them. Which we did. Until the man I stole the glasses from kept telling me they were prescription lenses. Did I believe him? Yes. Because I was inebriated, and am gullible enough when sober that OF COURSE, he must have lenses in these black and pink checked glasses. But that didn’t stop me from stealing a different pair of glasses, before running off with my entourage.

These ones we stole. And ran off with. They are mine now. Goodbye Forever.

Thus, another thing to add onto my antics list: Koala-ing, and kleptaholism.

I’m sorry, everyone. I have issues. But really, don’t we all?

About L.A.

Mom Life/Engaged Life/Blog Life/Love Life

Posted on April 27, 2012, in Words and Phrases and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I can just see you on the next episode of Jerry (is he even on anymore?) or maybe Hoarders.

    Remind me to keep my bow tie tied. LOL!

  2. Gurrrrl. You’re CRAZYY hahaha
    AND WHAT GANG SIGN IS YOUR FRIEND THROWING UP?????

  3. the problem is… i think you could steal literally anything without being arrested… why?! because you look sooo cute… like a koala. no one could harm a koala and that is why you get away with everything. ;-p

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