When it snows in Michigan, buy a bigger car
I actually have a very large car. I drive a Chevy Equinox, which although I did have to shovel out of a ditch at one point in time, has been very reliable to me over the past year or two.
But. I have my goal. Now that I’m working again, and have money coming in again to support my crazy lifestyle of going to bed at 9:30 (twitter permitting, sometimes it keeps me up), I have my future car in mind.
Let me explain.
It happened yesterday. I happened to glance down at twitter, and saw this:
For some reason, I have always wanted to ride on a Zamboni. It just seems so exciting. I would be capable of driving on the ice, in no danger of sliding or tail-spinning or hydroplaning or whatever the hell happens in winter in Michigan, because we all drive like bumblefuckers when it snows, even if we’ve lived here for years.
So, I entered the contest.
Now, you know I am a huge hockey fan. But you don’t know this: I’ve tried to get on a Zamboni for years. For realsies, kids. It’s on my bucket list. I remember singing the National Anthem with my choir, at my first Griffin’s game ever back when I was in the fourth grade, and thinking.
Damn, I would love to steal this large box-like car that polishes the ice like china.
Was that my exact thought? Probably not. But it was the IDEA. I tried to get on the Zamboni for my 23th birthday. For the Boo’s birthday (1, 2, and 3). For Poof’s Bachelorette Party. Have I succeeded? No. Therefore, I tweeted.
I told Poof. I told NeighborGirl. I told Macy. How awesome would it be if I, or someone I know would be on this large box-like car that polishes the ice like china?
The day moved by, slowly. Poof entered the contest too, and we bantered about the Zamboni ride via the twatter. We joked about stealing it and about riding the two Zambonis simultaneously. We made plans that whenever the Zambonis got close we would whip out Light Sabers and fight across the ice like the two battle warrior princesses we are.
But the contest moved to the back burner of my mind. I mean, they haven’t picked me yet, after all these times. I will really just have to buy a freaking Zamboni to ride on a freaking Zamboni.
Follow us on the twatter for more engaging conversations involving light sabers, zambonis, and free stuff. For us, free for us, not for you.
And our always exciting schizophrenic mass group twatter: @thetriplestop