Seek, and ye shall find.
What the fuck did we write, that helped someone find us from с днем рождения?
Which, by the way, is apparently Happy Birthday in Russian. I had to Google it.
Anyway, this has lead me to research our top twenty most searched terms. And also to think that we’re letting down a lot of men who are searching for porno and ending up on our blog. Thanks to them for not commenting.
Most of our top twenty are pretty normal. Everyone has birthdays, and knows that Poof are I are actually superheroes called Hotchtics. And 9 whole people searched for an AHL-er by the name of Francis Pare? That’s bizarre. Unless he’s googling himself, in which case he’s kind of cooler for being on an ego trip.
I was kind of disappointed because I KNOW at some point we were found by someone looking for a one legged woman who I think was trying to pee on herself. Maybe she had a jellyfish sting. We will never know.
Here are MY TOP TEN of our search results, in no particular order:
- “Happy Birthday I think he’s stuck”
- “Erotic sexual denial”
- “Funny queef sayings”
- “You can give me brain and we’ll make it a smart car”
- “You’re a douchebag barney”
- “leg cut off still texting”
- “Janik! Yay, you, doug janik. if you suck here, you’re screwed, cuz the wings think you blow too”
- “what happened to blueballsclub.org”
- “woman lifts her leg and”
- “what does freshly picked batteries mean”
On that note, I leave with you with another amusing moment involving my mother.
We are at Craig’s Cruisers, for my mom’s friend’s kid’s birthday party. We’re late, since we went to see ELMO, live in concert before hand. My mom can’t find the invitation and when we’re checking in at the desk to go to the party, she can’t remember what the birthday kid’s name is.
“Do you remember what name the party is under?” The 16 year old working boy asks my mom.
She shrugs helplessly. “It’s [Other Asian’s Name]’s kid. Do you have [Other Asian Name] down for a party?”
He shakes his head.
LeBebe is getting restless, and he sees all the shiny games. I know we have to get him away from them before he wants to touch everything in that three year old way. “It’s a party full of Asians,” I tell the guy. “A bunch of Filipinos.”
“Oh!” His eyes light up. “I’ll get someone to bring you back, I know who you’re talking about.”
Another 16 year old boy is bringing us back to the party room. On the way, I happen to glance into another room, and I recognize a couple of my mom’s friends. They see me and wave for us to come in. However, the boy is leading my mother into another room completely.
“Mom!” I jog over to her, and mention to her friend who has come to the door to say hi. My mom is all set to head into the second room, when she looks up.
“Oh, okay.” My mom thanks the confused looking boy. She heads over to her friend, waving goodbye to the other room full of confused asian people that we don’t know.
“We’re with the other asians,” I tell him. “Sorry.”