It’s deer hunting time here in Michigan. Also, Twilight Part XXILV: Vampires have children who sparkle and grow came out. Which means that last night, my facebook feed looked something like this.
Of course, I’ve made plans to go see Twilight, and made arrangements with numerous people that are venturing out in the woods in their camo attire to bring me back some damn jerky. Namely, because I hate the deer. But also, because I love the jerky. I really have no excuses for seeing Twilight.
Conversation from choir on Deer Season/Twilight Opening night:
Alto: You’re seriously going to see Twilight?
Me: Yes. I’ve seen all the movies. I’ve been sucked in.
Alto: I don’t get it though. It’s just vampires that sparkle.
Me: Not even that. They’re good hearted vampires. They don’t eat people. They’re vegetarian.
Alto: Don’t they drink blood?
Me: Well, yes, but not human blood. They kill like…lions. And bears. And deer.
Alto: That doesn’t even make sense.
Me: BUT IT DOES. Not only that. But today is opening day for Deer hunting. It’s like they called KPatz and were like, these deer are a big fucking problem.
Alto: Your point being?
Me: Deer cause all sorts of accidents in Michigan. They’re like crime fighting against all the deer. Working together for a common good.
Alto: …let’s not hang out anymore.